AuDHD and Me

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Intro

Hi – for those of you who are new around here, I’m Jo-Anne – a mid 30’s, Mam to one human daughter and one dog “son”, wife, sister, aunty, accountant, parish councillor, organisation addict, lady from Newcastle upon Tyne… better known as a Geordie. I’m sure by that description of myself, you get the jist, my life is VERY busy!

For a long time I’ve been seeing ADHD content online and heavily resonating with it. I worried it was just because I was seeing it, that it was implanting into my brain like Munchausen syndrome. But the more I saw and read, the more I realised that actually, for as long as I can remember I’ve had symptoms of both Autism and ADHD, but never felt my life was out of balance.

I’ve always known I was different and had minor Autism traits that I could see, I can recall key moments in my life… being called gulable at 3 or 4 years old, being obsessive with order, cleanliness and routine. 

I can also recall ADHD symptoms… Every single school report said I talked too much, I procastinated every deadline on homework and assignments my entire school life – I can remember them as early as 10 years old, right up until my degree at 24 years old and professional studies. It wasn’t that I didnt want to be organised, I’d often set out a structure and make notes on what to include, but when it come to making a start, I’d get mind block and I wouldn’t physically be able to start until days before the deadlune. I’ve also always hated sitting in traffic and taking detours, which has only got worse as I’ve got older.

What I didn’t realise, was that the two conditions were balancing each other out A LOT and masking each other. I had a feeling I was a little different, but dealt with every hurdle by looking to improve myself. I managed to create coping mechanisms every time a major symptom came up. Being hyper-organised is almost certainly my favourite. It has allowed me to live a mostly neurotypical life until I fell pregnant and everything changed.

Pregnancy

During my pregnancy with Amelia I joked about how instead of “normal” pregnancy syptoms like food cravings, I had got ADHD instead. I went from having an amazing photographic memory, and even before I found out I was pregnant I would forget things instantly … it was my first clue I needed to test.

The day before I found out I was pregnant, I remember so vividly. I was doing month end and due on my period, I always struggled with my memory around my period but this day was exceptionally bad. I was having to use my notes as I couldn’t remember the steps to my process, and when I needed to write something down I’d forgotten what it was by the time I picked up my post it notes…

As my pregnancy progressed, I got more restless and fidgetty. I barely sat down my whole pregnancy! I was constantly on the go, going to the house to do tasks on the renovation to avoid sitting still at my in laws. I’d plan out tasks and overcommit my time, trying to fit too much into too little time. I thought I was just getting slow at tasks now I was pregnant.

When the house was finished and we moved home, I was leaving a trail of half completed jobs behind me. I’d moved from the washer, to the dryer, to the sink, to the bin… I joked at the time I had pregnancy ADHD… Little did I know!

After Amelia was born, things didn’t get much better. The trails of destruction got worse and worse because I’d get interrupted by a crying baby or dog. I’d spend hours doom scrolling, that’s how I came across Suzie Diamond Cain; a professional organiser and ADHD advocate. She shared some of her ADHD work on her professional organiser page and we chatted for a while about how I related. She explained to me that hormonal shifts in pregnancy and menopause could change symptoms… and that’s when things started to click!

Diagnosis

I’ve always thought I had minor symptoms of Autism. I’m very particular (some people used to say I had OCD) about how things are executed, and I’m very literal – sarcasm is totally lost on me!

When I was growing up, ADHD was seen as “the naughty boy” syndrome so I never considered my symptoms to be related.

The more I saw online about female symptoms by following Suzie and doom scrolling, the more I related. At first, I just assumed this was because I was hearing about them and still didn’t connect the dots. As some of the symptoms of autism and ADHD are entirely opposite I never considered I could have either, let alone both.

When I went back to work there was a neurodivergent awareness month, and attended a seminar on AuDHD. That was when I connected the dots! I did some research of my own, and listened to some great podcasts like Late Bloomers and ADHD Chatter.

The more I read into it, I discovered it can be hereditary and I can certainly see traits in my family so while I am low support / high functioning I decided that I should get diagnosed formally for Amelia, so I can understand more about myself and how to watch for symptoms in her.

I got some advice about how to approach my GP and started writing a letter. I researched the symptoms of both conditions, and documented all my symptoms in my letter… which of course was written at the last minute! It was 2 pages long!

My GP took one look at my letter, asked when my earliest memory of symptoms was and referred me immediately. I chose to go via a “Right to Choose” provider as I don’t want medication, but the waiting list is still up to 52 weeks so its still a long journey ahead.

Work

Work have been amazing so far, I’ve joined a neurodivergent network who have provided lots of help and support about how to get diagnosed and what might help me at work.

My management team were also incredibly supportive and asked if I need any adaptations to my work style.

I really can’t thank my employer enough for enabling me and supporting the process so far.

I’ll keep you all posted on how things go!

Love, Jo-Anne x

P.S. I’ve set up a ‘Buy me a coffee‘ link which can be found here if you find my content useful ❤️